Friday, July 27, 2012
If it were up to me, I'd celebrate Christmas all year long. I mean, really, what's not to celebrate? For me, I doubt it would ever grow old. Besides, I love, love, love Christmas Music. I have always felt it is God's special way of speaking to me, of bringing peace and joy (notice the Christmas words?) to my soul.
And on this particularly hard, sad day in July, that is what has happened.
This afternoon, my eternal sweetheart passed from this life. He was the greatest, most kind, selfless man I have ever known. His final acts were of service to me and to his beloved children. Ours was a love story filled with sacred events that led us to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we were meant to be together in this life and in eternity. Even after his cancer diagnosis two months after our wedding, we shared a blissful life and gave thanks daily for our love and marriage.
As Robert's mortal body slowed down, we decided that home was the best place to be, so we left the hospital and went home to hospice care. The first days were miraculous as Robert spent his energy attending the wedding of his youngest son. Doctors, friends and family banded together to make it happen and it was amazing. His face beamed with joy as the sacred vows were uttered. At home again, the cancer took it's toll, and on this day, nearly two weeks later, he passed away. Once again, God's hand was evident, and peace enveloped our home in his final hours. Our children (his and mine) expressed their love for him, grief at the loss, and the Comforter was present. Sweet grandchildren sang to me via the Internet, "I Am A Child of God." Once again, friends and family gave sacred service to us in our time of need, which deepened the peace.
But that didn't make going to bed alone this night any easier. I reasoned with myself that I had slept alone in the house, our house, before during Robert's lengthy hospital stays. It didn't change the new and different alone feeling I felt. I decided some music would help my mind relax. This night I tuned my iTunes to William Joseph's newest CD, Be Still. And I cried. I cried through Be Still My Soul, and Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing. I counted blessings, and cried some more. I prayed, giving thanks for this beloved man who entered my life and healed my heart. I reminded myself of the Good News of the Gospel, and as the peace descended upon me once again, the piano sang the perfect answer:
"Silent Night, Holy Night! All is calm, all is bright!... Sleep in Heavenly Peace! Sleep in Heavenly Peace!" Ah, yes! The perfect reminder of the One we look to for our salvation, without whom we would have no Hope of an eternal life with those we love most; "Son of God, Love's pure Light radiant beams from thy holy face, with the dawn of redeeming Grace. Jesus, Lord, at thy birth. Jesus, Lord, at thy birth."
Yes, I will miss my husband for the remainder of my days on this earth. But I have a certain knowledge that we will be reunited again, and I give thanks for my Savior who sacrificed to make that possible. It is His loving example that my husband followed all his life, and because of that, I have Peace and Joy.
I have always loved Christmas in July.
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